


During Her Period

by clichE10



Category: iCarly
Genre: Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2009-07-15
Updated: 2009-12-26
Packaged: 2013-09-11 02:47:57
Rating: T
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,238
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5220069/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1151559/clichE10
Summary: Freddie must cope with an extremely irritated Sam during her period





	1. Mood Swings

Seven Days

Day 1: First Signs.

When Freddie Benson was approximately 5 years old, he came across a pastel pink pad in the contents of this mother's purse. He had no idea what it was but continued to stare at it with great interest. He fumbled through his mother's bag and gingerly lifted the pad out. He pressed the pad to his nose and inhaled. It smelled faintly of plastic and perfume. He then proceeded to open it and was surprised to find a small, white, cotton-feeling rag thing with wings. He laughed as the pad vaguely reminded him of a diaper.

But it couldn't be a diaper, he thought. He knew his mother was too old to wear a diaper. He rubbed his small hands along the middle of the pad. The soft, cushiony feeling made him feel at ease. _Maybe it was a diaper,_ he thought. It sure felt like one. He pulled the waist band of his pants and proceeded to slip the pad inside his underwear. Goosebumps began to form on his arms and he looked up feeling extremely content.

His mother later found him with his scrawny legs sprawled across the floor, a wet spot in the midsection of his pants and a pink, pastel wrapper to his left. "Fredward Benson!" Freddie lifted himself up to find his mother's wild expression staring at him. "Are you wearing one of my _pads_?" Freddie looked puzzled and scratched his head.

"Pad?" He asked, in his high-pitched voice. Mrs. Benson's expression softened. "What's that? I put on your funny looking diaper."

"Freddie, it wasn't a _diaper._ It was a _pad." _When Freddie continued to look confused, Mrs. Benson lifted him up off the floor and plopped him on her lap. "I use a _pad," _She pointed at the wrapper to his left. "everyday for a week out of every month."

"Why?"

Mrs. Benson blushed. "It's called a period. It's a girl thing." She scuffled Freddie's hair fondly. "Just be happy you don't have one."

"What happens at your period?"

"Like I said," She continued to look flustered. "It's a girl thing. One day, you'll deal with a girl during her period and will go crazy." Freddie looked at his mother. "Now, let's get you cleaned up." She carried him to the bathroom and Freddie groaned loudly. Mrs. Benson laughed and kissed him on the forehead.

***

"Freddie," said an extremely irritated Sam, through gritted teeth. "What is that damn sound?" She crossed her arms around her chest and Freddie watched as a vein popped out from the side of her temple.

He raised an eyebrow at her and glanced sideways at Carly who was also staring at Sam with a slightly frustrated expression. "What sound?" Freddie asked, utterly confused.

"That annoying inhaling sound?!" Sam demanded impatiently.

"You mean my _breathing?_" he asked incredulously. Sam glared at him through her piercing blue eyes. "What? You want me to stop breathing now?" He gave Carly a fleeting look before turning his attention back to the fuming blonde.

"Listen, Freddork," Sam said in a low, dangerous whisper. "My stomach is bloated, my flow is heavy, my cramps are killer, and my attitude is deadly." Freddie gulped; even Carly was a bit shaken. "If I _want_ you to stop breathing….you better hold your breath because it may be a real smart idea to listen to me if you ever want to _breathe _again…."

Freddie was visibly shaken and proceeded to bite his lower lip to induce his breathing. Carly watched the two but chose not to say anything because she knew that Sam was 3 times worse then she usually was during her period. "Carly, would you happen to have some painkillers on you?" Sam's voice was still tense.

Carly sighed; laid down the burger she had bitten and fumbled through her messenger bag. "Um…yeah…."she retreated the bottle from her bag and gave it to Sam. "Take two, Sam," Carly admonished. "_Only two_ and drink water."

"Yeah, yeah," Sam waved her off and obeyed grudgingly. "Fredwardo, get me some water!" She plastered on one of the fakest smiles Freddie has ever seen in his life. "Get me some water and you could breathe how ever you please…"

He immediately got up from where his was sitting and ventured off to find her some water. He was back within 3 minutes. "What the hell is this?" She glared at the offensive bottle in Freddie's hand, while he sat down.

"It's your water…"Freddie looked to make sure the cap was sealed and that it was dent free. "Here…"

"Are you _trying_ to kill me?" She spat. "What brand is that?"

He examined the wrapper around the bottle. "Ugh…Deer Park?"

"Exactly…you know I only drink _Aquafina," _She said, unnecessarily slamming her hand onto the table. "Everything else makes me fat…"

"You can't get fa…" He tried to protest but his voice died in his throat at her deadly expression. "Um… the school only offers Deer Park, Sam," he tried to reason with her. "You know that…"

Carly surreptitiously moved a few feet away from the couple. Sam's eyes flashed with anger. "A-are you calling me _stupid_?" Sam asked in a fierce voice.

"N-no, no, no, no, no!" Freddie stammered. "All I'm saying is that they don't have Aquafina here…" Sam stood up from where she was sitting and grabbed Freddie by the collar of his shirt.

"Fredward Benson…." He looked directly into her eyes. "All I want is some…some…_AQUAFINA!_" she burst into tears. Freddie stood immobilized, shock taking over him. "I-is that too m-m-much t-t-t-to ASK?" She shrieked, earning a few stares from the people surrounding her.

Freddie forced his mouth to move. "No, Sam, please don't cry…I'm sorry…"

"SORRY FOR WHAT?" She yelled, grabbing Carly's attention, who had just put earphones in her ear to avoid any arguments. "_SORRY FOR CALLING ME STUPID? OR FOR STARVING ME AND DEPRIVING ME OF MY M-M-M-M-MEDICINE_!"

"Ugh…for both?" He said in a little voice.

"FREDDIE!" this time it was Carly's disapproving voice. She punched him on the arm. It was very un-Carly like but she would get really angry when anyone messes with Sam. "What the hell did you do to Sam?"

Sam was sniffling so loudly, Freddie could hardly hear what Carly was telling him. He rubbed his arm and leaned in to hear Carly better. "Look, she asked for some Aquafina and I told her there wasn't any…"

"That doesn't explain why she's crying," she punched me again. "Make her better!"

"But B-But..."

"Make," She punched me on my left arm. "Her," She punched me on my right arm, _"Better,"_ she was about ready to punch me in my face but I grabbed her hand in the air.

"Okay…" Freddie sighed, dropping her clammy hand. He watched Sam wipe her nose with the back of her hand and cringed a little. "Sam…how bout I take you and Carly to get some cheesecake after school?"

Sam's face brightened a little. "And pickles?"

"Of course,"

"With chocolate?" she sniffled.

"Yeah, okay…"

"And beef jerky smothered in strawberry jam?"

"Sure…"

"And a large plate of steak with blue cheese on the top and a side salad with clams and New Orleans rice with Hershey Kisses sprinkled on top?"

"Uh…" Frankly, she was worse than a young woman pregnant with sextuplets. "Whatever… are you coming Carly?"

"Nope, I can't." Carly sighed. "Spencer wants me to help him buy a shark tank…"Sam and Freddie stared at her. "Yeah…it's for one of his inventions…" Freddie grew nervous. He was going to spend the rest of the afternoon with an insane Sam.

"Can't this wait till tomorrow?" He tried. "It wouldn't be the same without you…"

"I wish I could, Freddie…but Spencer is really depending on me," She chuckled. "He says I have great taste."

"Yeah, next time I go shopping for Shark Tanks, I'll ask you for some advice." Freddie laughed despite himself but then stopped abruptly when he thought of Sam. "Buy, okay, I guess me and Sam would have a," he gulped, _"great_ time anyway…right, Sam?"

"Yeah, whatever, Fredwart, just as long as you give me everything I say…I'll be fine." She hastily wiped away any tears away from her cheek. "And, I want a smoothie, okay?"

Freddie stared at her and then shrugged. "You are going to put me through debt…."

Sam snorted. "You should be happy to have the privilege of buying me all the food that my heart desires."

Freddie sighed as Carly laughed. This was going to be a _long_ week.


	2. Cramps

Freddie huffed heavily as he carried Sam through the threshold of _"The Cheesecake Warehouse." _Freddie struggled to keep her secure in his arms, but she was not doing much to help. Sam was contentedly humming and kicking her feet, seemingly unaware of the suffering Freddie was currently going through. "Sam, we're in the restaurant," he sounded pained. "I think it's time for you to walk."

Sam sneered. "Fredwin, I can't walk, you see, my legs are disabled. They are paralyzed. And the doctor says that I won't be able to walk until…."she held her chest dramatically. _"Never…" _Freddie watched as she tried desperately to keep a straight face.

Freddie shook his head but gave her a tiny smile despite himself. "Sam, you were just kicking your feet a moment ago." Sam bit her bottom lip to deter laughter. "I'm going to let go now, alright?" Sam abruptly reached for his collar.

"Oh no, you're not!" Sam said, a smile sneaking up on her smug face. "If you do, I'll make a scene! I _know_ how much you hate that, Fredwart." Her voice was taunting. "If you make me walk…I'll yell out to the whole restaurant that you're known for dropping pregnant women to the floor."

"B-B-But you're not pregnant."

"Really?"

"Y-yes, really…" He did not sound confident.

"Okay…"Sam proceeded to kick her feet and rub her abdomen. "Oh Freddie! Feel my tummy, little Hannah is starting to kick…" She then laughed. It was like an evil laugh that caused Freddie's stomach to turn violently. "She's a kicker…just like her mother..."

"Sam, shut up!" Freddie was frightened now. "You are _not_ pregnant…"

"No," she snickered. 'I'm not…but the people in this lovely restaurant don't know that, so I suggest you keep carrying me."

Freddie struggled to keep up with Sam's weight but fortunately their table was only a few feet away. "AH! Finally," he dropped Sam, making sure she was on her feet. She just stood there, however, with a very determined look on her face. "Sam? Aren't you going to sit down?"

"Yes, as soon as you pull out my chair …" she tapped her foot impatiently on the floor.

"Of course," Freddie complied. "Here you go."

"Are you serious?" Sam asked incredulously. Freddie, however, examined the chair with a confused expression plopped on his face. "I can't sit on _that _chair…its brown."

"But…I thought brown was your favorite color."

"Yeah, it reminds me of meatballs."

"So what's the problem?"

"This chair is brown, Freddoof," She pointed at it. "It'll be like sitting on a brown, hot, delicious meatball." Sam looked sincere and for a moment Freddie was going to laugh. "We just have to sit somewhere else." She extended her arms out waiting for Freddie to presume carrying her.

"Sam, all of the chairs here are brown!" He tried to keep is voice steady. "You've been here a thousand times! And I've never seen you complain about brown chairs!"

She wasn't paying attention. "So are you going to carry me to another table or not?"

Freddie sighed and scrutinized the entire restaurant in hopes of a non-brown chair. "Hey! How 'bout that one?" He pointed and Sam followed his gaze. "That one over there….by the window."

Suddenly, Sam hit Freddie hard on his arm. "Are you _blind?_"

Freddie rubbed his aching arm bitterly. "What _now?"_

"That chair is _white!_"

"So?"

"So, _Fredwood_, I have my _period,"_ She said. "Do you want the whole world to know? _Anything_ white is a big no-no during a girl's period."

"UGH! Well, then I guess we'll just have to go somewhere else."

"Wait!" she said abruptly. "I've noticed something about these chairs…"

"What?" Freddie said impatiently. "Is maple wood too good for you? Is it too light?"

"No, but good observation," Sam said thoughtfully. "These chairs aren't brown! They're caramel! This is a _light_ brown but not so light that it could be mistaken for yellow or gold. I would say just between coffee and maple. Definitely not the color of meatballs!" She chuckled. "_Silly me!"_

Freddie glared at her, steam was virtually pouring out of his ears. "Okay," he said through gritted teeth. "Let's sit down now, shall we?"

"Yes." Sam smiled brightly. "We shall!" As soon as Freddie pushed her chair in, she yelled. "WAITER!"

Within seconds the waiter stood tall beside their table. "And what may I get for the lovely lady and her boyfriend?"

Freddie was extremely quick to correct the waiter. "It_…_I-I mean _she _is not my girlfriend. We're just friends, sorta." The waiter looked back and forth from Freddie to Sam and smiled. "Trust me, she doesn't want me. Not that I care..." Freddie glanced at Sam who was attentively examining her fingernails. "You know she sent my phone to Cambodia?"

"Yes, well, unfortunately I am a waiter…not a shrink." The waiter said curtly. "Now, what do you want?"

"I'll just have the Cesar salad and for the desert…um….I'll take a strawberry cheesecake and a diet Pepi Cola."

"And you, beautiful?"

"I'll have----"

"She'll _have_…a large chocolate cheesecake, a large Cesar Salad and a can of Mountain Fizz." Freddie cut in. Sam was furious. She specially made a whole list of the things she was going to order. The waiter proceeded to scribble the orders on his notepad.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" She glared at Freddie. "Do I look like a five year old girl?"

"You sure act like one," Freddie muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" Sam demanded. Freddie shook his head fervently. "Why did you order for me? Huh? I could talk, you know." Sam stubbornly crossed her arms over chest. 'Now, I demand you to….AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Her sudden scream made both Freddie and the waiter and almost the entire restaurant jump. "Ahh! It hurts so badly!"

Freddie hastily went over to Sam. "Sam? What's wrong?"

"C-Cramps….ahhhhh!" Sam sounded pained. "I get them ten times worse then the average girl! PAIN!" Sam grabbed Freddie's hair. "UGH!_ Fredwusss_, listen to me! Run down to the store and get me some painkillers and pads, okay?"

Freddie pinched himself, this was obviously a nightmare. _"Pads?" _

"And painkillers," She grabbed his hair tighter. "Okay? Get me….AHHHH," She clutched her stomach with her left arm. "Get me, "_Invisible Flaw_," pads, okay? The green ones…with the wings!"

"But, Sam!" Freddie feebly protested. "There are people in the corner store." Sam stared at him, his hair blowing at her heavy breaths. "They'll see me buying pads!" The waiter snickered and surreptitiously left the pair alone. "I-I'm afraid."

"AHHHH!" She clutched her stomach tighter. "Fredwad, these_ effing_ cramps are killing me!" She pulled his hair. "And my flow just keeps going, like your mother's damn mouth." Freddie was too much in pain to be insulted. "Now, get me my pads and PAINKILLERS!"

"Fine!"

******  
Freddie paced back in forth in the Toiletry isle at _WALK ON BUY_. It smelled strongly of plastic and perfume. He wiped off the excess sweat on his red forehead. He was surrounded by pads, tampons, and pantiliners. It was the most excruciating thing he had endured in his life.

Just as he spotted the green pad that Sam had demanded, a group of girls turned towards the isle. Freddie grew exceedingly nervous. The clan of girl's eyes fell on Freddie as soon as they spotted him. They began to giggle and Freddie turned a pale shade of scarlet.

"It's not for me!" He yelled defiantly. "It's for my best friend!"

They laughed harder; one of them even approached him. "Do you need any help? My first time buying pads was really confusing too." They laughed even harder. "No seriously, do you? I could spot anything."

"Well…."

"Come on, Amber!" A blonde yelled from the clan. "Leave this poor boy alone and let's, like, leave already. I totally want to go and buy new shoes."

"Hold on, Missy!" Amber snapped back. "What is your friend looking for?" she asked Freddie

'I think I already found it…"Freddie pointed at the green pad on the shelf.

"Okay, you…I mean _she_ prefers wingless pads?"

"Oh no, _she_ wants it with wings…"

"AMBER," Missy yelled. "_C'mon!_ We gotta go! _Now!_ "

"Just a minute…"Amber remained calm. "If she doesn't want wingless then I suggest you forget about those and get _those…"_She pointed at an array of green and pink, _"Invisible Flaw,"_ pads. The majority of them had wings. "There you go…you can get the scented ones if you want…but their quite irritating."

"They're not for me…they're for my best friend."

"You must really like her," She smiled. "No boy I know would risk the embarrassment and social suicide and buy their best friends pads."

Freddie knew he currrently had three options His first option was to jump off a bridge. His second option was to start crying uncontrollably and this third option was to thank Amber, get Sam's painkillers and run out of that hell hole.

"Um, Thank you so much Amber," he hastily grabbed the pack of pads. "Now, I gotta get going." Without giving her a chance to utter her goodbyes, Freddie went to the counter and asked politely for some painkillers.

The cashier's eyes averted towards the pack of pads in Freddie's hands. He eyed Freddie suspiciously but grabbed a bottle of painkillers altogether. "Do you want paper or plastic?"

Freddie, who was growing exceedingly impatient, snapped. "What the hell is the difference? Just give me anything!"

'Hey look, mister," He pointed an accusing finger at Freddie. "Just because it's your time of month doesn't mean you could take it on me."

"Ugh!! Screw you!" And with that Freddie stormed out of the store.

*****

Freddie walked back into the restaurant to find Sam and table full of empty plates and crumbs. "Here," he practically threw them at her. "Here are your stupid pads and stupid painkillers!"

Sam smiled, chocolate covering every fraction of her mouth. "Good news, Fredqueer, my flow is getting lighter and my cramps stopped." She then had the audacity to laugh. "There was really no need for you to get me those things…"

Freddie could feel his blood boiling. "You ate all of my food?" Sam nodded. "And yours?" She nodded again. "But I was only gone for like, 15 minutes!" Sam nodded. "How much is the bill?"

"Um…I think it's about 5 or 6 or 70 dollars…"

"What?" Freddie stammered and subsequently took a seat before his legs gave out. "But it's never that much." Sam hummed and wiped her mouth with her hand. "What else did you order?"

"Uh…nothing," Sam insisted. But Freddie kept his stance fierce. "Okay, So I ordered another Pepi cola… or five, but is that really bad?"

Freddie stood up abruptly. He reached inside his pockets and angrily pulled out a 100 dollar bill and slammed it on the table. "Here! I can't take anymore of you for the day. You girls with your _freakin' _periods!" He angrily walked out leaving at a confused Sam gazing at his retreating form. "And I want my change back!"

But he knew he wasn't going to get his change back. He knew that this week was not over and he had six more days of Sam's period. His _least _favorite time of the month.

*****

**I guess us girls can relate, huh? And I feel sorry for those poor helpless guys who have to deal with us. Oh well….**

**TBC **


	3. Heavy Flow

"Does my butt look fat in these jeans?" Sam asked, looking slightly desperate. She asked this question rather loudly and several students in the cafeteria snickered at her question. Carly and Freddie briskly glanced at each other before preparing to lie to a virtually irritated and distraught Sam. During this very delicate time, they knew that it would be fatal to tell her the truth.

The answer to that question was yes. Yes, her butt _did_ look rather large in those jeans.

Freddie instantly began to stuff his mouth with tater tots to avoid responding. He did not want to suffer a concussion so early in the afternoon. Carly, however, bluntly lied to Sam without any hesitation. "Don't be silly, Sam. Your butt looks fine in those jeans." Carly grimaced before returning to her pizza.

Sam huffed impatiently, she did not look convinced. "Fredqueer!" Freddie virtually choked on his tater tots; he felt his knees start to tremble viciously which meant the end was near. "How do these jeans make my butt look? Honestly." Sam anxiously waited for Freddie to respond.

"I don't know," Freddie said, avoiding eye contact and trying desperately to keep his quavering body still. "It's not like I look at your butt." Sam raised her eyebrow. "And anyway, you're sitting down. How am I supposed to know?" Sam chuckled humorlessly. Freddie allowed himself to glance at her, but only hastily. She had a determined and irritated expression on her face.

Sam nodded slowly as if contemplating something serious in her head. Then, she abruptly stood up from her seat, dusted off her colorful hoodie and gradually turned so that Freddie and Carly got a clear view of her plump backside. "Fredwardo, how do these jeans make my butt look?" She repeated, firmly. Freddie's eyes grudgingly fell on her backside.

Freddie stared at Carly, who shrugged disloyally. He frowned at her. He knew he currently had two options. The first option was to tell the truth and die a slow, painful, excruciating, gory, horrific, bloody, terrible, tragic and gruesome death. The second option was to lie and hopefully come out without any bruises. "T-those jeans s-suit your butt nicely." The funny thing was that he was half telling the truth. Hey, he_ was_ a guy and Sam _was_ a girl. A girl with a rather _nice_ backside. He gazed at it a little harder and noticed a large red spot. Carly seemed to have noticed it too.

"Wait…Sam…you have a spot on your pants." Carly said, narrowing her eyes to get a better look. Sam immediately wiped around to face the duo; she looked absolutely mortified. Freddie averted his gaze to his lap. _This was really embarrassing. _"Sit…sit…Sam…sit down!" Carly shrieked, making Sam even more embarrassed. Sam gingerly sat down. "Are you wearing a pad?"

Sam blushed, looking indignant. "What?!" She exclaimed, furtively glancing at Freddie. "Of course, I am!"

Carly shook her head. "Well…obviously you need another one…"She sighed, annoyed. She snuck a hand under the table where her leather bag laid and quickly lifted it onto the table. Her hand fumbled apprehensively through the bag. Her face brightened as she pulled out an "_invisible Flaw_" pad. "Here," she said, as she handed it to Sam. "Go change."

Sam looked at the pad. "I can't" she said finally, gently pushing Carly's hand away. Freddie started to whistle as an attempt to lighten the mood but all he received were glares from both Sam and Carly.

"What do you mean, you _can't_?" Carly asked, bringing the pad closer towards Sam. "Go change!" she said, bossily. "You can't walk around like that all day!" She reached over to grab Sam's hand and forcefully shoved the pad into her palm.

"Exactly!" Sam said, resentfully, dropping the offensive pad on the table. "I have a HUGE spot on my pants! How am I gonna make to the bathroom without anyone seeing?" Carly frowned. "You have class in like five minutes! Who is gonna hide m…"Sam stopped suddenly and looked at Freddie, knowingly, a wide smile growing on her face. Carly too gazed at Freddie.

"What?" Freddie asked gradually. As he looked back and forth at Sam and Carly, realization stuck him so hard, that all the oxygen was nearly knocked out of his lungs. "No way! _No way!"_ He was nearly shouting. "I'm not going to hide, Sam!" Freddie defiantly crossed his arms against his chest. "And anyway, I have study hall next class!"

"Study hall is _not_ a class." Sam proclaimed, rolling her eyes.

"Is too!" Freddie snapped back, rolling his eyes as well.

"Oh, stop being so childish!" Carly shouted. She stood up, grabbing her bag, pulling it onto her shoulder. "I've got to go but Freddie please_, please_ hide Sam." Freddie shook his head fervently, his mind made up. "Just stand behind her! That's all you have to do!" Freddie shook his head, firmly.

Carly crouched down so that only Freddie could hear her. Sam watched the exchange suspiciously. "Do it or I'll tell everyone about the time you peed on yourself during an episode of _"Girly Cow_."

Freddie looked betrayed. "Hey! That was years ago and it was a scary episode!"

"It was _last week_ and it had _friendly_ ghosts in it!" Carly smirked, playfully. "Think of Casper."

Freddie opened his mouth to retort but found himself tongue-tied; he dropped his arms in defeat. "Fine!" He hissed, glaring at Carly. Carly smiled brightly. "I'll hide you." He said reluctantly to Sam. Carly shrieked with joy before turning her heel and leaving the couple by themselves. The moment she left, the awkwardness escalated.

"So…"Freddie began, looking at Sam nervously. "Shall we get you to the bathroom?"

"Yeah, yeah…whatever!" She snapped, taking Freddie aback. "Just come here and stand behind me." Freddie reluctantly complied. "Listen, Fredwin. I have some pants in my locker; we're gonna have to go there first and then the bathroom, understood?"

"Do I have to go in there _with you_?"

"That doesn't matter right now!" She sighed, making Freddie even more apprehensive. His heart was practically threatening to explode. "Just…c'mon, let's go. You're making me lose time out of my science class."

"Science class?" Freddie asked dubiously.

"Sleeping class." Sam confirmed, clutching the pad from the table and getting up. "Okay…c'mon. And don't forget to stand behind me…_at all times_!" She added though gritted teeth.

They started moving at a slow pace out of the cafeteria, with Sam occasionally grabbing Freddie's thighs to make sure he was still behind her. People openly stared at them as they went by for Freddie's body was so close to Sam's it looked like…well…like something totally not appropriate for school. Freddie couldn't help but to react to their predicament. Hey, he _was_ a guy and Sam _was_ a girl. A girl with a rather_ nice_ backside.

Sam fidgeted uncomfortably. "Freddifer…something is…I don't know…something is…_poking me_…."

Freddie's eyes widen in horror. _Stupid, stupid, stupid hormones! _He visibly panicked as he desperately tried to come up with a plausible excuse. "Oh…oh…yeah, sorry. That's my uh…that's my...remote control…?"

"Remote control?" Sam repeated, slowly.

"Yeah…I fell asleep last night with the remote control in my hand." He mentally smacked himself in the head. "Silly me."

"And it just _happened_ to fall into the front pocket of your pants?"

"No! no….no…c'mon Sam!" Freddie stammered. "I'm not_ stupid_… it just _happened_ to fall into my underwear…"

Silence.

"And just how_ long_ were you planning on keeping it in there?"

Silence.

"Not long."

Silence.

"Mind taking it out, Fredqueer?" Sam asked. "It's bothering m…"

"LOOK!" Freddie yelled. "Isn't that your locker, right there?!" Sam followed Freddie's gaze.

"Yes…it is." She said warily.

Freddie visibly relaxed. He followed Sam to her locker, trying to calm himself down. Sam proceeded to unlock her locker and subsequently drew out denim shorts out of her locker and examined them, making sure they were free of spots or stains. Freddie stared at the pair of shorts, they looked quite unfamiliar. "I didn't know you owned denim underwear." Freddie

"They're shorts, Freddly."

"Really?" Freddie asked, thoughtfully. Sam nodded impatiently. "Well, they're _way_ to short."

Sam snorted. "I appreciate your concern…wait, no I'm lying…they're shorts, Fredwardo, not g-strings." Freddie shrugged indifferently.

"I almost couldn't tell the difference." Sam rolled her eyes. "Seriously Sam! You might as well wear only your underwear."

"Really Fredwierd, I appreciate your concern…no, wait…I'm lying again. This the only thing I have, so get use to it!" She slammed her locker door shut. "Let's go to the bathroom." Freddie's heart started to pound again. He had previously asked Sam if it was necessary for him to accompany her inside of the bathroom but she failed to give him a conceivable response. He proceeded to press his chest against her back until they reached the bathroom.

"Wait out here!" Sam demanded once they reached the girl's bathroom. Freddie sighed in relief. He tapped his foot the tile floor as he patiently waited for Sam to come out. He was still a little uneasy from the whole situation he was in earlier. It didn't occur to him just how curvaceous Sam was until that moment. How could he not have a reaction? She was a very pretty girl…with a rather _nice _backside.

His thoughts were stopped as Sam emerged from the bathroom. His eyes immediately fell on the shorts she was wearing. His throat went dry. Her denim shorts almost disappeared under her hoodie. She smirked at him and clapped her hands together.

"Thanks for all the help, Freddie." She grinned, showing off her pearly white teeth. Freddie grinned back. "Now, get out of my way!" She demanded, although giving him a smile. "I have to go to science class! "

"Sleeping class?" Freddie asked.

"You know it, dude." Sam winked, gave Freddie a small, slightly awkward pat on the back and left. As she left, Freddie couldn't help but to stare at her spotless, denim-shorts covered butt. Hey, he _was_ a guy and Sam _was_ a girl.

A girl with a rather_ nice_ backside.


End file.
